She had hickeys... what's up with that?? HAHAHA
is it sad that pink shorts and cowboy hats remind me of getting jizz in the hair?
The old woman next to me on the el smells like cupcakes...but she doesn't taste like cupcakes
WTF YOU HAVE A GIRLFRIEND?
Oh yeah that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't think I have ever puked up that much free breakfast in my life...thank god for Nickle Beers.
and hes going back to rehab like me, so we have common interests
Is it possible to dent your eyeball? And how do you "accidentally" go cosmic bowling?
Tell Chris I said sorry for yelling "It's my vagina, let me do what I want with it!" at the party last night.
I'm sitting on the floor singing Bruno mars while they cook and occasionally pet me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Maybe I can find a straight girl rehab camp, like the opposite of those degaying camps, where they teach me how to love the ladies instead
Omg. I would pay ALL OF THE MONEY for that camp.
Sorry I got completely naked in your bed, but I feel our friendship has grown because of it.
He wasn't excited for the fifty shades of grey trailer, so I told him we're done
Every text my dad sends me is an AA mantra. Might be time to take a look at my life.
Masturbating with Lord of the Rings on was not how I planned my afternoon going but here I am.
Um. I just realized I still have a beer in my purse from last night. I'm at work. I am so classy.
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