he smells like the inside of heather mills' fake leg
She says ass holes are for stuffing, the verb, not stuffing, the noun.
better yet, through the bookshelves. like an intellectual glory hole
You had already cockblocked me. The cops were just an assist.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm really tired of cleaning up my twitter the morning after
Found her in the closet eating mayo out of the jar with a knife
I think I ruined Robin and Mikes anniversary. I walked in on them fucking, accidentally broke the necklace he gave her, and I stole the keg from their party. Not in that order
It was like she tried to cover up all the weight she gained with a fake tan...
Believe it or not I'm actually not the only person sitting in the back of the train covered in glitter and drinking whiskey out of an arizona iced tea can. Small world.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Its everclear night, yall need carbs in your body!
He screamed AMERICA, took a shot of vodka out of a Tupperware container, and then asked if he could see my tits
he says he is going to get you very high and make you leave the country with him
possibly by boat
we're all going for beer and wings at 7. inflate your girlfriend and bring her along too.
When I was drunk texting him about three ways he seemed more interested in just seeing me. And that's when I knew something was wrong with him
So it turns out "let's pretend to be gay so guys will stop hitting on us" was step one in her plan to get me into bed...
Randomize