then she said "on the count of three I think we should apologize to eachother"
finally cleaned my dorm for the first time all year. bleach is awesome.
My dildo fell into the bathtub. It sounded like a chainsaw.
"too many" and "free shots" never belong in the same sentence
My kindergarten teacher served me... All coming full circle
There was confetti in my vomit this morning... Happy New Year!!
your fridge is broken, your sock drawer is full of snow, and you flipped off the whole stadium on the big screen. I'd say it went well.
I got another blow job proposal last night. Skills.
We found him sitting in the back of the club crying into a strippers lap. She told us he missed his pet frog and to come back later.
Dude, you were so drunk you were hanging from the ceiling of my car pretending you were a sloth while we were on 81.
Couch. On fire.
You're incredible, and I'm drunk
Gotta love college... Pregamed for my 8:30 flight home this morning and gave the flight attendants all high fives when I got on the plane. Best ride of my life.
All time low: no dry towels so I'm using the sex towel to dry off
Btw you guys passed out eating DP dough and watching Pocahontas... on a monday
it was stoner heaven..
Randomize
