I drank too much. My snot smells like vodka when I blow my nose.
There's a girl here with sideburns. I gave her your number, you can thank me later.
For some reason fuck navy didn't go over quite as well as say fuck michigan;
Church boner. Awkwardddd
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Also, just saw a kid in a gorilla costume being questioned by a boardwalk cop. I love ocean city.
I tried to put the left over margartia in a box for you but they wouldn't let me
She found 60 bucks at the strip club. Its probabably been in a vagina but really most money probably has
We are not buying weed off a guy from the internet.
After she asked if she could try to fit her toe ring around it, i decided to leave. Thats the life i live
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He put those pics of him with those girls on facebook and tagged his wife in them
Tequila 1 marriage 0
We're trying to make our wedding vows nice but meeting on OkCupid fucks that up entirely.
I woke up at 5am to tell him I wanted to take his dick on la Tour de France, I might need a nap later
Did I send you a drunk selfie with a pine tree last night?
This whole quitting my bad habits all at once is really messing with my ability to function.
Skipping class. Wanna Drink now?
yea. just give me 15 min to write a paper.
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