all we did was drink wine and talk about how people who dont have facebook dont exist.
I've been watching too much manswers. Cuz i know scissoring doesn't work on a motorcycle.
I can't wait until weight watchers comes out with a beer
I'm not sure what happened last night, but my turtle seems afraid of me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My friend just ordered a beer and poured it on the floor in celebration of open bar night
Found crayons in my cigarette pack. I can't help but feel you may be responcible.
we have to top last new years. except im not ready for jail. that can wait a couple years
The basket that the Naughty Easter bunny left for you at my house might keep us entertained for a little while...
Phone sex soon? I mean date. Sex date. Date phone.
all 3? possibly?
I think I'm up to the challenge.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't question myself. That's what I have you for.
I'm honored.
I'm literally in my bed still trying to find the energy to take my corset off so I can binge eat oreos
how should I feel if a guy kept complimenting my bangs while I was giving him a blowjob?
I just watched your sister pour half a bottle of cotton candy flavored snow cone syrup into a bottle of marshmallow flavored vodka, take a swig, frown, and pour a cherry coke in.
Just wait until she offers you a "powerita"
I look like a hot mess, emphasis on the hot now, more emphasis on the mess later
I've seen too many naked penises for this to be a normal Monday morning
Randomize