We were both sleeping and she woke up and just puked i feel so bad for everyone around us
I woke up in a strange girl's bed and rifled through her mail to get her name.
Michael Bay is the white Tyler Perry.
She uses empty wine bottles as book ends. 2 on each side. At least 8 shelves.
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She pushed me over. She offered me a shot from her tits. We're good now
did you know the cops in wilco have clean up kits in their cars for when people puke in them? i found this out this morning. i'm finishing paperwork now. come get me plz?
I'm drunk from drinking bourbon out of a "cupcake sippy cup" at the Denny's bar. What the fuck happened to the goals I had?
The fact that I am laying in bed on my stomach with an ice pack on my rump is a clear indication that I am no longer in my carefree 20s
She's walking to the bar while holding a fifth of fireball, talking on the phone and puking like its nothing out of the ordinary
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He put rainforest music on before we had sex I felt like I was in the Amazon
You gotta have 1 orgasm for me and the rest can be for you. I'm living vicariously through you 😂
Can't we just go back to fucking and having your boyfriend think you're completely straight?
Found my bra in the fridge. See you in 10 mins. It's gonna be a good fuckin day!
I am listening to Jack Johnson and wearing the sweater your Mother made me fuck mother nature I am in my happy place right now
she bought my drinks all night, made me breakfast in the morning, and let me use her expensive hair products before i left. best one night stand ever.
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