he said no girl had ever swallowed his cum before
he probably also told you he thought u were pretty
Hahaha alright after 5 shots I'm not allowed to touch glass or boys with girlfriends.
In all honesty of all my sexual conquests, his dick is probably my proudest moment.
You picked up her frozen vom puddle and threw it like a frisbee.
He's afraid of heights. How do I know, you ask? Blowjob on his roof.
You should photoshop their heads on tigers first!!
For my parents' annivery card? How high are you?
I was THIS CLOSE. But drunk me wanted to play those washboard abs with a spoon, like an actual washboard. Apparently that hurts, so I just squished it out at home alone.
My favorite part was screaming to all my life by kc and jojo and just horribly failing
At what part of the night did you guys leave?
After my hot tub cannonball.
AHHHHHHHHH. I LEFT A GLASS NEXT TO ME WHEN I FELL ASLEEP I'M SO SURE IT WAS WATER BUT NOW IT'S VODKA JESUS MADE A STOP
I thought my neighbors locked me out of the building. Then I remembered I was drunk. PUSH AND TURN.
Then, even the devil himself would be scared of us. And we'd be bestfriends with Jesus. He would love us.
"suitors" is just a nice way of her saying "the guys i'm fucking"
so how about you dont randomly call my mother during parties?
Going on a coke binge the night before your appointment with your therapist (to talk about your sex addiction) is prob not the best idea.
Randomize
