nosebleed girl is getting lots of praise
Well, I fucked her. But the sex wasn't all that great. Morning sex never is
I just stepped on my own foot and apologized to my shoe... THAT high.
I drank mimosas and played bocce ball in the middle of finals week...now i know how Comm majors feel all the time.
Just checked an empty cooler on the flight to Notre Dame. You don't have to tell me you're jealous, I already know.
She said "don't make this weird" and then proceeded to sniff me.
thank you whoever used my nalgene as a flask. pregamin in chem
So half of us were already throwing up outside when the Ukrainians ask us if we're ready to start partying yet. I love this country.
Got a handy at the foam party. Took girl home. Banged her. Thanked her for foam handy. "what handy?"
Im invoking the "no judgements" clause of our friendship.
My god, what have you done?
Security deposit gone.
burned down garage with fireworks.
I am literally drinking 7 day old water and looking for snacks in my room so I won't have to go in the hall and see roommate, because we accidentally banged last night. Please bring over some chicken and plan b.
He's smoked my weed, stolen my cigarettes, and used my campus cash, but I try to initiate sex and NOWWW he's all "As your RA, that's a line I can't cross"
Dude I may be rolling but there's no way I can make up a 12 ft tall giant green man waving to me right now
False alarm, security just told me it's a radio tower
I don't know what it is about this quarantine, but I have never written this much smutty fanfic in my life and I am loving it!
Randomize