Do you think "I had sex with my co-worker last night I don't think I can come in today" is a good excuse?
I think it's just because she's got "I'll sleep with anyone with a decent car" written all over her face.
Im partying with a unicorn. You don't even know.
i think it would be like really awesome if scientist could genetically engineer manatees to be like the size of goldfish so i could have one in my fishbowl and be like FUCK YEAH TINY MANATEE
My face is bruised from laying on the concrete. NO MORE VODKA!
maybe if i keep dancing i won't throw up
She's been drinking and was roller blading. I'm sure you can do the math
All i remember is Liz dragging me home yelling at me, crying, and barfing
Would be in best interest to sanitize the DVDs
I like that our conversation ended with "im gonna go get pregnant goodnight"
I just had a drunk lesbian experience.... How do I break it to my boyfriend??
I shotgunned a beer immediately puked and rallied. And by rallied I mean had sex in the bathroom after he held my hair.
What a gentleman.
When you trip so hard that you can see your friends thoughts through their pupils.
I was doing good, then they gave me free shots
it was like where's waldo, only the stakes were much higher.
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