I was so drunk last night that I went into my 15 year old sisters room to have her peer edit the drunk texts I was sending to my ex.
Note: footlong is not the password to the subway wi fi network.. p.s- im super high
if i were reduced to my simplest elements, i would be jizz and glitter.
I don't know why I've never thought to take my bong into the bathtub before.
you're wrong. we DID have sex last night. just ask your roommate. you seriously don't remember him asking to join us?
The dumpster is full of naked people swimming. I'm going to join.
He kept pouting and saying i cockblocked him and I kept yelling "I'm sorry...but the cock was never out to be blocked"
please tell me we weren't that bad as freshmen
i can't, we're worse now
Yeahhh, apparently my brothers think its ok not to check on me if a creeper is talking to me bc i "like those weirdo types"
One failed naked backward somersault off the bed and I realize - I either need to drink less or workout more. Perhaps both.
So I don't know, I'm not a doctor, but I might be juggling dates with 3 different guys...
A thong just fell out of my purse in front of my whole class maybe I should stop using this morning class as my walk of shame
We played a 4 hour game of True American then we fucked on the floor for a couple hours Happy 20th to me
Jesus fuck. I just hit on him in front of the whole fire department. They hit the sirens and told us to get a room. FML. I can never go back to that fire station again...
I just threw up in front of a bunch of parents/prospective students while they were on a campus tour..awesome..
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