Text me right after you finish, I want to know how the ghetto fleshlight worked out
How about I just call you while I'm doing it so you can hear my reaction?
I woke up wearing no shirt sleeping next to a half-eaten grilled cheese.
Well did you call the grilled cheese yet? Or r u waiting the usual 3 days?
So the bouncer told me I could leave the easy way or the hard way. I told him I was going to make him earn his 10 bucks that hour.
Apparently you chose the latter.
Dude you didn't move for like 2 hours then suddenly sang the chorus to ghetto superstar and passed back out
I have pictures of you scratching against the sliding glass door on your knees screaming how you felt like a lamb.
also, add "teaching boys to sext" to my charity work
She poured beer through the deck into the hot tub. She called it a deck shot. It was horrifying but super awesome at the same time.
As part of the off-hours team building exercises, I had my new coworkers figure out to push me back to the hotel from the nearby bars in a shopping cart every night for a week.
The maid moved your bed and found almost 40 used condoms and wrappers. She just looks at me and says "Dave?"
Just gave my thesis presentation, pretty sure I made out with the admissions woman last night.
Enough talk of my burning loins. How is your day?
I would wear his ballsack as a hat if he asked me to
Every time Brady gets sacked I cum a little...
I'm always down for nudity.
I want you inside me. Finish your papers.
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