Did you see Brett Michaels get knocked on his ass?
Hurt me personally.
Knocked his cowboy hat off... Bandanna was still good though
yeah that facebook group of people who have had sex with me probably isn't to discreet...
I wish there was a hungover fairy to brush my teeth and bring me a diet coke.
Missing both credit cards and just had a flashback of grinding my nuts on the terrified cab driver for amusement. i am feeling a slight hate for myself right now.
What drugs are we doing when you visit?
The correct answer is all the drugs because I just found out they have glow in the dark bubbles.
we didnt plan anything. just randomly met up in the park, both reached into our pockets and each lit up a joint without exchanging words. we're telepathic potheads.
i came home after a long day at work and she dropped a plate of cheesecake and a bottle of whiskey in front of me and said here's dinner
Not only did she fulfill a life long dream of mine of banging in a library, she bought me subway for lunch. I feel like I got the best gold star ever today.
She took all the bottles out of the shower caddy and replaced them with booze. I just made a shower Manhatten. Imma marry this one.
I gave up great shower sex to be here so don't say I never did anything for our friendship.
Dude what is wrong with me. I'm like a strong independent woman and shit.
He’s 21. The president of his frat. I’m 28 and have a career!
Do it. It’s a noble position.
Threw up on break at work. That brings our collective tally to 9 times. We can never drink like that on a monday again
I think I may have just hit a new slutty low! ..... Just purchased the Costco pack of condoms... $9.99/48 pack = amazing deal! The judgement when I bust out the value pack = priceless!!!
Almost gave the delivery guy a 34 dollar tip. That high
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