Ppl just aren't as funny as we are
He was passed out on the floor holding a beer can, rolled over switched hands and never spilled a drop. We need to practice.
How do the people at CVS not know your living in their bathroom?
How many layers of skin can you loose before it becomes bad?
Three things I need a picture of: your friend, your bong, and your dick.
I'm going out w/ her for her b-day in a bit. I just talked to one of her drunk friends on the phone who asked if I could "handle 7 lesbian." This could be interesting.
Apparently I was proudly showing him the cup I barfed pizza rolls into
Hey, you can't rush the perfect creeper shot. I need buffer time to hone my skills.
So really what you're asking for is an allowance to not have sex on our futon.
I'm sorry but the visual image of you suffocating on vagina is basically hysterical
My phone just said I texted someone at 430a and said let's fight. Then I texted them an hour later and said thanks.
Well I'm over here squandering a fabulous hair day and radiant complexion
Why did two squirrels just run out from behind the couch?
About that.
I just bought a handle of tequila and a breakfast burrito. I might be out of money for the weekend, but at least I have the necessities covered.
So it turns out that a Ford Focus does not fit in a Walmart cart return.
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