Oh My! A car just drove by me a splashed me with a wave of water. I am drenched and soaking wet!
I am sorry--all I heard is that you are wet.
i'm pretty confident that i watched a woman making love to a german shepherd.
That guy over there looks like a cartoon/action figure.
omg, i know.
we're too high.
shes on the floor puking and texting simultaneously.
So just to get a feel for things...how prone are you to male Amish strippers...
This is a test of Andrews drunk texting, had this been an actual drunk text, all the words would be spelled incorrectly and would be missing key verbs and nouns, followed by a request to not get fired.
Hypothetically speaking, what is the proper response if one gets bitten by a most likely not rabid squirrel? Hypothetically.
I've already reverted to sweat pants. And lonely drinking.
Late night whataburger runs are great, except if you're the one that gets left black out drunk puking in the backyard drinking from the water hose
remember how i yelled at you for inviting that coke dealer to the party?! i found the $100 bill they were snorting with in the couch.
..new slutty dresses or booze? i won't even waste time with the i told you so.
Did u know it's unconstitutional to turn down a shot during 4th of July celebrations.. Rest now dear liver
Pedi-lyte stocked
I may or may not be setting up an encounter with a foot fetishist just because I'm curious.
He made me a flamingo drink and now I don't know why things are the way they are.
I told her we had to stay at the bar until at least midnight because that's when my direct deposit hit, don't tell me i'm not responsible
I just texted him from the other room to come have sex with me-stress relieved
You are such a millennial
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