ok what kind of idiot turns down casual afternoon sex?
I had just got her shirt off when I realized that I was about to fuck Chewbacca from Star Wars. The way she moaned confirmed that I was.
just saw a guy throwing up in the urinal at Dennys. Either he had one hell of last night or we are going to eat somewhere else
at least he left the skimmer on the side of the pool so i could fish out my thong in the morning
Should you consider yourself out of control when everyone at the party is cheering you on while you're puking, and on the last heave you act like you're rolling dice right before the finale???
my greatest accomplishment from the city of diplomacy is that i puked at a table of 5 diplomats and my professor and NONE OF THEM NOTICED
Earned the respect of a group of freshman by chugging Das Boot while hanging out a window and lost it shortly after by wrecking a clown bike into them.
she broke up with me the week she got divorced. maybe I should grab a beer with her ex
Would you judge me if I made John grow a bush while he is in Cancun so he doesn't cheat on me?
Sincerely. Thanks. You could have thought of anyone sitting on your face but you chose me. :)
I was out of weed and my vibrator broke, so I'm now at Red Lobster.
well i maturbated this morning, which means the best part of my day has already happened.
Well, personally I like to keep my blackmail in well organised folders.
my morning attempts to try to have sex with him was interrupted by the passion of the christ parade going on outside my house
Did I tell you he put a lobster carcass on his dick?
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