i had the deer in headlights look when she walked in and i was digging in her hamper
Roller skating + drunkeness + peeing = mess
I think call of duty has replaced my masturbating. And I'm alright with that.
I wish I could save this moment forever and have sex with it regularly. Its just tht beautiful.
He's been grabbing my ass as a greeting since 2004, sex was overdue
I feel like none of my dresses scream slut the way I'd like them to
Even my Russian and Serbian roommates think I drink to much.
Well, he sent me "techno kitty adventure" about 10 minutes ago. So, he could be anywhere.
Yo I tried to get u stoned for ur dreams by blowing weed smoke in ur face while u slept. Ur welcome.
I know you've been in hospital with meningitis, but last night I walked into a streetlight and bruised my penis so who's really suffering here
If you recall, I made a Zoolander reference almost immediately after you pulled out of me the first time we had sex.
A party without a piñata is not a party I want to attend.
We need to know if his feet match his cock.
So...#1 on my TO DO list for college is to fuck someone somewhere in the stadium during the homecoming game...you down?
YOU'D BE LIKE A MERMAID! I'll bring you coffee filters to cover your tits.
Randomize
