idk, i just don't think periods are something you can catch in a little cup.
the taste of these tagalongs is totally worth boning that creepy troop leader chick...
If my body was a temple, I pissed all over the front stairs last night..
Just wondering why in an apartment full of stoners there is half a waffle in the TRASH CAN. get ur shit together man
wait a second... your telling me you want me to take you to the bank at 10 on a tuesday so you can buy a blow up pool and fill it with beer?
yes... and buy you lunch
Oh, and she's that dumb bitch that goes out in public in full make up and sweats with uggs. I hope she falls face first in a bowl of queso and drowns
Discovered that a nalgene holds an entire bottle of wine. Going mobile. Come find me.
I've fucked 6 of my brothers' friends. I'm completely fine with him fucking the girl we ate lunch with.
I'm not judging you. Just know that you could be Queen of The World. Instead you're 5:28 p.m ponging. I hope you're at least winning
We've started traveling with Michael and Patrick so we can pretend we're two legit straight couples.
A charade that fell apart the second another couple on the cruse found Sarah face down in my box on an observation deck.
I woke up without my clothes on covered up with a towel on the floor because for some reason I took a bath in my clothes at 2am.
how come you came home with "Amanda owns this" written on your forhead
May he have a McRib induced stroke and lose the feeling in his tastebuds.
But did u die
I found an onion in my purse
Just letting you know that I just spent 11 dollars on a car wash... Because you had sex in my car.
Randomize
