Trust me, I wear more condoms than socks. I wouldn't risk infecting my cock. It's my livelyhood.
is it wrong that I prefer my women with low self esteem and a smidgen of an eating disorder?
I have a feeling we are going to become cougars together.
FYI: Do not ever call any girl a thundercunt as a form of dirty talk.
Once I saw his penis, I knew I made the right choice
In the middle of switching positions, we shared a line of coke. It's was like a modern-day 'Lady and the Tramp.'
I've never played a more sexually-tense game of Uno in my life.
Well the good news is my "i'm an adult" dinner party went well, they all brought wine and complimented my cooking abilities. the bad news is i woke up with the leftovers in my bed/on my face
On a separate but also a very relevant note, can we practice drinking wine like real people?
Ohhh. Its been awhile. Vending machine hotel condoms are $15 here who can afford to not get herpes?
Yeah. Well last night I sold my shoes to a man who I'm pretty sure has a weird foot fetish for $150 cash.
Yeah. I couldn't figure out why my toes hurt. Apparently, the guy I was dancing with, kept running them over with his wheelchair.
Give me an out of order sign and caution tape and we can have sex practically anywhere.
Did I tell you that I told him I deleted his dick pics and he almost started crying?
Still drunk, heading to class.
It's 3 a.m. Dude
Doesn't mean I'm not at my desk. Ill wait.
Have I told you i love you?
there's no need we are two peas in a naughty pod of fuckery
Randomize
