But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
Just saw an old man buy two cases of keystone light, a case of milwaukee's best and a case of icehouse. Degenerate alcoholic of senior citizen of the year?
I'm so glad i pay social security
I am the master of subtle flirting. I seduced him by simulating a hand job with an epi-pen during training.
She's the perfect storm when it comes to psycho stalkers
I don't care if he's straight, his cock will be in my mouth by midnight. Like a closeted Cinderella.
Remind me again why a vodka watermelon can't be a thanksgiving dish
We can see it once so I can see the whole movie, then I'll go see it with him so I know when the boring parts are and I can have sex with him during those parts
REALLY should have cleaned under my bed before I had my parents come help me pack...things my parents just found: several condoms and a bottle of lube. My mom when she found a condom: "ooo ribbed. Laura's a lucky girl"
I don't even remember what he looks like. All I know is he's 6 foot 100. I like that.
Mom just sent me an email. The subject line is "How to avoid a urinary tract infection"
LET IT GO MOM
This is stupid. I am not getting knocked up from fucking in his backseat behind a starbucks. I refuse.
By chance and just chance did you find a cock ring? By chance
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
we will now reference it as "the infamous double dick night"
Get over here and bring your drill!!! The strippers next door need help installing a stripper pole by their pool
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