his roommates stood outside the locked door reading bible verses to us the whole time...
"Does your mom know how big your cock is?" Worst dirty talk I've ever had.
I just accidentally stumbled into an AA meeting...I think its a sign
a lot of self evaluation comes after you have to clean up a trashcan of your own vomit and condoms
You said eat breakfast. So i poured Baileys on top of m&m's. It taste just like like cereal I swear.
We aren't really supposed to respect our bodies til our mid twenties.
I'd have paid money to see Cookie Monster playing with a vibrator
with hottub sex, handcuffs, Pocahontas themed lap dances, and eating pumpkin pie off each other, I'm gonna say thanksgiving will be a success ;)
I fucked him on my yoga mat. Then we wake and baked and ate granola. So yes, you could say I found my center.
Date #3: He brought me a mason jar full of organic weed that he grew on his property. Will you be the witness when we sign our marriage license?
Oh my god the guy at DQ just gave me the number 69 and winked at me
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
i smell like vinegar and tequila i can feel the old people behind me judging
I'm gonna go take a shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
I need weed and if he's hot, maybe he can supply me with sex too.
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