help me. he won't leave me alone. he just licked my ear and he's so drunk. get him off me. we're in the closet. help.
Princeton has an emergency contraception worldwide website. It is in moments like these that I love my university
i just got painted green i'm not about to leave for anything
She was perfectly content just sitting in the middle of everyone blowing bubbles in the air.
She thought someone was breaking in but when I said it was me she got even angrier and threw a coffee mug at my head.
did you really just refer to me me as an old fashioned penis?
For your information i will be shotgunning whiskey on may 21st.
the parents are super pissed...made eye contact with the mom while going down on another girl
she gave me her number. found out it was already stored in my phone as "bathroom blowjob"
Ok wear gym clothes just in case we feel like going shitfaced to the gym
I just sang country roads at the top of my lungs with my cab driver. Tonight was a success.
went out last night. woke up with a lisp.
How the hell do you misplace a bag of tacos in a closet?
Taking a walk while tripping face during Halloween time was a bad idea. I started crying bc I was so scared and hide in the parks playground.
Okay, let's just all take a step back and think about how funny this will seem in like a year... Maybe 2 if his nose is actually broken.
Randomize
