How old was that tiny chick? she needs a lard iv.
Part in the USA is on your top 25 most played on iTunes. you have NO RIGHT to judge me.
vegan vag taste different. and not a good different
I'm partying with my neighbors right now, and by "with my neighbors" I mean they are partying in their backyard and I'm partying in mine, and by "partying" I mean I'm sitting here alone drinking tequila.
I'm still trying to figure out how you came back with chinese food, and a spoon covered in icing saying 'cake..'
Chapter 6 - how to lose your underwear in chicago
I woke up tied to my bed while she was in the corner staring at me while eating cereal. Interesting night!
Do you remember using the vicegrip to demonstrate how wide your penis is?
Your vase full of piss was still at his house and he still doesn't know.
The cops just came to this party I'm at and ate all of our snacks
Dude just crushed our bbq lays and told us to quiet down
Was just messaged by someone in a Power Ranger suit on OkCupid... Figured you would approve
I don't give a shit if you judge. This isn't about you or anyone else. This is about me and my chicken tenders.
Duck, Duck, Goose is now the autocorrect, safe for work version of fuck, fuck, loose.
Are you ok?!
I assume I've stopped bleeding because I haven't passed out, but can't verify currently.
I cam home to find him twitching on the floor, surrounded by unopened condoms and covered in cranberry sauce (yes I tasted it) while Thundercats was playing.
Randomize
