So... how did lowering your standards work out last night?
am i the only one who has tried sucking their own cock????
at least after i hook up with someone i have the decency to ignore them
My RA tried to compliment my pong tables design after he confiscated it
Is it bad that we're talking like nothing happened?
Ah. Blossoming love after wild blackout drunk sex.
the fda needs to get their shit together cause these four loko going away parties are gonna kill me
I literally just wielded a katana to save a child's life. What did you do today?
Instead of sending me a picture of his dick, he sent me a drawing of it on drawsomething. This game is getting out of control.
Winner winner, chicken dinner. I am the sole survivor of the orgy without strep. Or maybe I was the carrier?
He must have sensed I was about to trade him in...he's really stepped up his sex game
I woke up at 4 am. Literally pissed. No idea what happened. I could have fucked a cow.
Hey I consider Sunday's trip to the ER a success. You're alive and now you know for sure you're not pregnant. I got my highest ever Tetris score. Wins all around.
I think he's only dating me for my ass...
Her name was Danica but I felt like it would be hard to say drunk so I called her Shelby
I don't know why, but whenever I shave my balls I feel more aerodynamic.
Randomize
