I got my parents high. They've been watching spongebob for six hours. You cannot tell me I'm not the favorite
Totally just met the chick getting nailed in our lobby last night. Should I bring it up?
When boys buy condoms it makes me feel proud of their mothers for doing a good job
Just bought a breathalyzer and Sharpies, guess who thought of a new drinking game
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
HOW LONG TILL THESE DRUGS WEAR OFF. I WORK IN ONE HOUR, I REPEAT, I WORK IN ONE HOUR.
Its not that hard, just find a girl reading 50 shades of grey and point her my way
I'm trying to ve beat feiesnd sent.
Took me 10 minutes of oral to finally get him hard for like 30 seconds of sex until he came and passed out. Def not worth the ROI.
Funny, 'cause his story is it went great. He faked passing out so he wouldn't have to do anything in return.
Aren't you proud to know somebody who texts you "manifold facade" while dumping frozen colada mix into a blender of rum
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just remembered when I first started going down on him he goes "ok now I feel a little better about the broncos losing"
You know it was one hell of a night when you need to use your own thong to wipe cum off your face.
The laundromat is nothing like In the pornos
can i get licensed in dentistry online like a priest
I'm driving to his house to eat chicken and hopefully have an orgasm
Thanks for fucking the skin off my dick
It was a joint effort between my vagina my feet and your hand you can't just blame that all on me
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