What do you think that old couple was thinking when they saw me puking in the QT parking lot at ten in the morning?
Drunkenly found an error on my bar tab last night. THANK YOU ACCOUNTING.
There's nothing like puking in the airport on the way TO Vegas. Something tells me i pregamed a little too hard.
you were leaning against the vending machine asking if there was a shower you could puke in.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I smuggled my gin and tonic out of the bar by shoving the glass in my pocket...mistakes were inevitable.
They put me in charge of something. Why the fuck would you look at me and put me in charge of something while i'm double fisting peach mimosas at a baby shower
hooked up with the gay kid & his friend's mom told me "you know he has a identical twin brother whose straight, right?"
You could become Eskimo brothers with my dad. How can you pass that up? You pussy.
WHY IS FOOD SO DELICIOUS
BECAUSE SCIENCE
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I need to pay that drinking in public ticket, but I also really want to get a spray tan next week... so priorities.
I stood in my living room with two beers in my hand asking these said beers if they were going to drink each other. I then insisted that I would drink them and chugged both. Happy Halloween.
8 minutes into the New Year and and I've already sent a nude...new year, new me?
I passed out in your bed last night...there maybe a snickers and twix bar under your pillow
It's only awkward the first ten minutes you realize it's not your house.
Its pretty bad when you can tell twins apart by the size of their penises...
Randomize