I'm like cupid
You're a whore with a bow and arrow
just realized we made a drinking game to how many times they say "hakuna matata" in the lion king last night... hello sophomore year.
Had to make a piece of abstract art. Your dick is in it
Your brother came in a girls mouth for the first time last night... Ah the tales told whilst buying minors beer.
Let's play, "guess how long my Neighbours have been watching me dance naked".
Just took a shot of tequila with a random guy at the supermarket. Happy cinco de fourth.
So stoned i forgot i was in bed
I made it with a guy dressed as Mitt Romney. I told him "you can't have my vote, but you can have my body"
On duty sugar tits. A Marine never abandons his post to take nudi pics.
Sorry man, but I'd rather do drugs with strangers than watch sports with you. It's not personal, drugs always beat sports.
ok now I feel liek a very drunk human instead of a chaos being thanks water
The teenager outdrank all of us. All. Of. Us. I woke up and she was getting everyone water and fruit snacks. I give up.
I'm gonna give the church their tithe, and the rest is a down payment on boobs.
Hope everything goes ok. If it makes you feel better, I straightened vomit into my hair and killed a bird earlier.
Only you would make Mario Party a contact sport.
And you owe me a new pair of switch controllers.
Randomize
