I cant date a girl that sucks dick at sucking dick
The weird kid in front of me is reading an article titled "why don't i have a girlfriend?" the article then continues to talk about the mathematical equation for obtaining a girlfriend. exhibit a of why he is single
Im making the walk of shame with half a box of pizza, its like when youre little and you get a goodie bag leaving the party
Happy graduation...we are now officially unemployed alcoholics!
I got to the point where it seemed like she had 8 giant breasts instead of just two
I watched her choke out a bouncer with the broken strap from her purse, I think shes the one.
You can come over, sure. But I'll be watching college hockey during the blow job.
I just had a 30 minute conversation about hummingbirds. That high.
I miss high conversations.
Swinging. Is. Amazing.
I set up her keyboard so that no matter what she does, it will open up RedTube. Click and command Q all you like, its going to porn. No I play the waiting game
Are you wearing clothes?
Fuck no, who do you think I am
I just got nudes while talking in the third person. Not sure if I Should be proud or ashamed.
Being able to fart in my own house is like 90% of why I pay rent
I might run out into oncoming traffic. Id rather break my legs and/or die then continue with today.
i think i puked but i couldve been a dream and i may have madeout with a 20 something guy infront of my managers...also possible dream.
I need advice on ways to politely say “fuck you on your way to hell”.
Randomize
