i recognized the place by the puke stain i left on the pool table when i hooked up with his roommate.
He blow dried my hair while I sucked his dick. Now THAT'S fucking teamwork.
I wish I had a "puke in your car" emoticon
She texted me shhh....im drunk, secret booty call...how could i say no?
I accidentally KO'd a baby in the airport. Thought you should know.
It looked like his dick was wearing an argyle sweater.
I'm surprised I didn't lose anything last night. Except maybe my dignity but other than that we gucci.
if youre gonna throw up it might as well taste like christmas :S
This mustache is awesome. I can't pass by a mirror without looking in it and thinking damn, I'd like to give that guy a handy.
I just ordered $70 worth of pizza and I'm not even ashamed. Happy Valentine's Day to me.
He was feeling me up but acting like he was asleep. Like WTF does that mean??
*goes to show prof a picture* *forgets tit pic is in camera roll*
meow
use your words like a big girl
i ran over your cat.
11:30pm - Shots together. 12:15pm Shots together. 12:45pm Shots together. 9:30am Plan B's together.
So were driving two hours to go to a club and Charles packed me a sippy cup full of tequila. He thinks of everything!
Randomize
