I need to shower the guilt off of my thighs.
my brother is a facebook fan of two things: God, and Rhianna. if he's not a prime example of the rare "baptist closeted gay," i don't know who is.
Facebook is used to stalk your friends, Twitter is used to stalk celebritie=s, and Myspace is used to stalk underaged girls. Everything else is porn. T=he Internet in a nutshell.
Im making the walk of shame with half a box of pizza, its like when youre little and you get a goodie bag leaving the party
there are seriously like six guinea pigs in my bathtub right now
What is wrong with this kid? He'll take ecstasy but won't take dayquil?
I thought the one perk of the low caliber of men I've slept with thus far in my college career is that I would never run into them in the library. I've been here for ten minutes and we're on number three.
I THREW AWAY MY VIBRATOR BECAUSE IT INTIMIDATED HIM. WORST. DECISION. EVER
I really am. The stoner chick wants to get a python.
His birthday is on Valentines Day, of course he's getting a blowjob
I was the oldest, shortest, and soberest at the New Years party last night. My life sucks
What's the tour de bar? Is that a thing, or is it just what you call Saturdays?
If God is analyzing my life right now extremely proud or dissapointed but either way I took wednesday night drinkin to new levels
I think i got beer on your cat.
i don't think the phrases "so shitty" & "taking care of my newborn" should be combined in the same sentence. leave it to her to make it possible eh?
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