wait, did i just see you litter out your window??
umm, i have a hybrid. it cancels out.
Spotted: jayne dropping her cigarettes in a puddle...then picking them back up and putting them in her pocket. If i ever get that desperate, stop talking to me
It's just like soggy cereal, but cancerous
he asked me to marry him on one of those scrolling message belt buckels.... what now?
Can we please have a moment of silence for my reputation?
I wish a night of watching Dear John and a bottle of wine could cure my herpes.
He gave me a pearl necklace on top of my Karma necklace I was wearing. I guess I deserve whats coming to me.
Too lazy to get out of my bed thats 2 feet away from you. Are you sure youre alright?
someone who i have in my phone as thundercock just said he was DTF
Don't lose. A little bit of my soul dies every time a beer pong game is lost.
Hey ask him if he likes swappy seconds
Seriously, she had fingers that made me thank a god I don't even believe in that I'm gay.
with the possibility that i could very easily fall in love with him and i've actually talked to my HUSBAND about it
I told myself I'd stop after three shots of fireball. Haha HA hA.
While having sex, a German accent isn't sexy.
"The More You Know"
have you ever tried to puke in an automatic flushing toilet? impossible
Randomize
