you'll be glad to know I got kicked off the microphone at a bar in Breckenridge last night thanks to my country rendition of all star
our landlord thinks we're weird & alcoholics. he came in to fix our broken tub and saw the laundry door on our table for beer pong, the garbage bag full of empty fifths, and that one armed baby on the doorstep. plus he saw us swimming and yargging in our pirate pool that one time.
He made fire alarm noises before throwing up all over the street.
Sorry I tried to blow your roommate in your room. I felt more at home there.
coming out of a blackout being surrounded by Disney police was not as awesome as it sounds.
I will fight anything that is not spinning right now
We need to go to the store an get depends. I really don't want to be bothered with the bathroom this weekend.
i think i have weasels eating my brain. Also there is a skeleton staring at me from the back of the bathroom door. it's an awkward vomit. come find me please
it's only monday and im already failing all my classes. i give up. tequila tuesday is my only friend.
we passed out in our seats at the game for about 3innings. I guess they showed it on the big screen. nap n rally!
Omg, you would have loved the guy I almost hit with my car tonight
you showed up at my door at 3am, handed me a bag of cold chicken nuggets and said "lead me to the non-irish Siobhans," do YOU think you were tripping?
He's mad about lube? You know what, don't even. I'm not in the proper mindset to discuss lube.
Why is there cereal literally EVERYWHERE?
It didn't follow directions.
I just threw up a strange neon green substance. Did I eat a glow stick last night?
Randomize
