summer is not the time to consider going full bush.
Do you think they'll have a special part during the BET awards for Michael Jackson even though he turned white?
if you made me into a cookie and threw me into a betty crocker easy bake oven on christmas morning...that's how baked i am
my roommate just said, "don't look at it, just put it iin your mouth"
after the first blizzard, i went out and bought a thirty and put it in a cooler and hid it out in the backyard. now the second blizzard has deposited 2 feet of snow on top of said cooler. there is a shovel and treasure map over here waiting for you
He still lectured me about forgetting shit. Than he said he's gonna paint me green so I can stand in a corner and be a plant.
They said an hour before I even see a doctor...and they noticed the shots tally on my arm.
If taco bell and midol can't fix her, she's in gods hands now.
My stomach literally has no contents left. Tequila cleanse=success.
We should hook up after this. Laugh or look horrified to say yes.
Bro that's the last time I try to stick my penis in a bowl of jello. I can't believe your sister ate that, did she not see my dick mold
I tried to take home a cat on broadway last night. I named him Pinocchio and put my purse down on the sidewalk and tried to put it inside it
I told him I was gunna have sex with him in both of our cars at the same time.
How early is too early to start drinking when studying for the bar?
WTF ARE YOU DOING IT'S FUCKING VEGAN COFFEE IT'S MADE WITH NUT MILK YOU'RE NOT A FUCKING SQUIRREL.
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