I'm constantly one strobe light away from an E flashback
just saw bouncers outside a coffee shop. beginning to question humanity.
Molly wanted me to tell you, "she hasnt shit on the floor in a while" like she thinks its an accomplishment.
Dude pussy is like music. For every person who pays for it, there are thousands more getting it for free.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't even want to talk about it, I'm traumatized. Even the dog knew to take advantage of the most intoxicated girl at the party...
He told me something must be wrong, because no one had seen my boobs yet
That kid who fell through your coffee table is here. In a toga.
Thats gotta be it. Also just found out that the fireworks will fit in the airsoft pistols...we are all gonna die
the cops accepted 42 wallaby way Sydney. and the cops, and cab driver accepted the new address. please tell the win i am experiencing
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I got snowed in at my parent's. everyone's asleep so I'm smoking a joint in my old room and watching Tarzan on a 12" tv.
They must be so glad to have you home...
I wear drunk well.
She drank my rum. I had sex in her bed and didn't wash the sheets. We're even.
I tried to get the guy I like to “spit shake” on a sexual bet... why am I such a bro fml
I woke up an hour ago with orange fingers and a condom stuck to my head.. Wtf just happened?
Go shave, and then go fuck the man
YOU ARE SO CRUDE, I LOVE YOU
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