Things overheard in WeHo: "Just drink a corona and eat some ass, you won't be hungry anymore"
I threw up so much beer last night that my puke had a nice head on it.
The worst mistakes make the best memories. Write that down.
somehow we got the entire party to start singing "ill make a man out of you" from mulan. needless to say, that kid had the best keg stand i'd ever seen.
Just flooded the bathroom while masturbating in the shower. Managed to squeege most of it up. Desperately need to get laid.
We found her in the fireplace eating dog biscuits.
Do you think that my Facebook profile picture kinda look like im being raped by a 10 foot polar bear ?
i think we should start 2012 by becoming clean and sober for awhile and buckle down
ppsyche im wasted where are you
I tackled a mailbox like a linebacker. He almost broke his hip and his friend lit a bottle rocket off inside of the car. Yes it was a successful night.
He's not actually Jewish. Turns out he just wears the yarmulke to cover his bald spot.
Have you ever stopped and thought "I do NOT want to be inside of this person right now. Or ever." Because you should.
Our DD will meet us there. The strippers are sending a limo to pick him up. He promised them New Years Eve massages. Said he would still drive us home.
I just accepted my offer to work as a camp counselor over the phone between shots of Fireball. This is going well for me so far.
There are no winners in a lube eating competition.
He just sent me a picture of multiple chickens eating in his kitchen... should I be worried
Randomize
