I stuck it in and pulled it out
Did she like it?
She giggled?
She liked it
It's fine actually... I'm pretty sure he had the crookedest weiner in the world anyway.
Like he had it hanging in the wind and you just decided, "nope, I don't think that one's for me." ????
God no! I could just feel it. His clock said it was 8:00 when, clearly, it should have been midnight.
I took a bird feeder and filled it with alka-seltzer. Can you say fireworks?
he designed a suit out of pillows to protect himself when he fell.
engineering majors are such efficient drunks.
well its a long story but basically i overcame many cockblocks
Chicken salad taco, you know, when you're out of bread and crackers, and high.
I'm a little upset you wasted 3 beers on your wet tee shirt contest.
I'm trying to pinpoint the moment when "don't do anything I wouldn't do" became bad advise.
did i really sing to your nipples last night?
yes. and it was oddly very seductive
sidebar: i fucked your brother last night
Packing for college has become a game of where did I hide my sex toys.
It's gotten to the point where waking up in my own apartment is a surprise
You rolled over grabbed my crotch and said "that's my waffle." I'm sleeping on the couch next time.
You kept running around yelling "I need my pajamas" & then you got naked. Shit just went downhill from there.
We're about to get drunk and it feels wrong without you
Randomize
