i will soon be in a relationship on fb
you!?
me and your mom. i mean, lisa.
Oh. Thats cool. Im not dating anyone right now. Sean gave me chlamydia from some GUY he fooled around with. Im being abstinent.
Just woke up and stopped at the WaWa in Virginia. Had major morning wood and didn't try to hide it when walking around. So many awkward stares.
my neighbors garage sale is really cutting into the time of day when i can smoke weed on my deck.
Listen man this isn't about soccer. It's about America and day drinking... Your two favorite things now get your ass over here
My dick was almost in plain McDonald's sight
I am disappointed by everyone's lack of ability to dance on a stripper pole:(
I walked in on him fucking my best friend. I think we've reached the point of following each other on twitter.
You kept hiding under tables and grabbing people's legs and shouting SHARK ATTACK.
did you just correct my grammar and then send me a photo of your dick?
I went to watch porn and there's already 3 Santa videos. Happy November 1st.
IT'S FUCKING BABY SEASON ON FACEBOOK. MY VAGINA WANTS TO THROW UP
WHY DOES MY BOYFRIEND'S BROTHER HAVE TO BE SO FUCKING HOT
So I have now fucked both my roommates...This is why I can’t live with men.
Do NOT. I repeat. DO NOT call me little one after we have fucked. In no world is that ok. Even jesus agrees.
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