I was so high i believed someone when they told me le moyne beat syracuse
sitting on my lesbian neighbors couch, sexting, & eating a burrito.. that single
I am getting drunk. And i'm going to paint my face and slide down the stairs like Pochahontas. Goodbye
Eh, not fuck buddies. I prefer sexercise partner.
It was the textbook our-balls-touched-while-engaged-in-a-threesome-with-our-bosses-wife conversation.
It amazes and alarms me I'm not shocked to read that.
don't trust your eyes. just sniff them. if they smell like axe, they are broke, move on to the next.
He won't let me go to the bars unless I can manage to get flip flops on.
Sounds like he's doing this for your own good...
Okay. I am working on pulling a tooth out of my mouth. Call me.
All I know is I want him to tie me up at least twice a week and I have an overwhelming urge to cook for him. Could this be love? I'm so confused....
FYI, announcing your arrival at jail with "Hi,yes, I'm checking in? I believe I've reserved a bed, a 2 night stay this weekend?" is, in fact, frowned upon
I'm so fucking horny right now If I blink I might cum
He told me how it ended, then I blew him.
So he ruined the best cinematic experience of your life and you REWARDED him??
Drinking wine from a straw at 6:15 in the morning. This is what college does to people.
Considering we're about to fuck, I really need your girlfriend to stop liking all my Facebook posts.
You should come over tomorrow. Wine, pizza and my vagina. Those are all great things.
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