I like how you formally end text interactions, just turn your phone off or don't respond you pervert
You finger a girl once and she thinks she loves you. I'm going back to boys. Lesbians are needy.
he came faster then a bring it on movie goes to dvd
Soo both my 8 year old sister and fuck buddy are named Sarah..
this can't be going anywhere good
nooope. guess which one i texted last nite to come over so i could "punish her pussy"? =\
He slapped my ass and hummed the jello theme song, which was followed by an overly loud "IT'S ALIVE!"
I was so hungover that I had to stop in the middle of the game and throw up. The fans cheered.
Just pulled over to throw up in a day care parking lot while the kids were outside playing. The adults were mortified.
I cant do that to my vagina yet. its my prize posession.
I woke up naked, with the lights on, using my backpack as a pillow and a pillow as a blanket.
He told me that if I were a guy he'd go gay for me. Honestly don't know how to take that.
I found your doppelganger. same hair, eyes, personality, catch phrases, and penis. it was mind-boggeling.
I just want to give face wipes a shout out for being there when im too tired or high to wash my face at night
Probably won't be invited back there again considering last time his purebred corgi ate my pot brownie and had to be rushed to the hospital.
Pretty sure the cop told you that you were the first person he pulled over for being drunk on a tractor. So there's that.
lol I'll trade you jello for a tampon
what a trade!
Randomize
