420 ftw
it's a girl!!
That's great, I look forward to meeting her in 18 years
it was like weight watchers had a halloween party.
Whenever I said your name you screamed polo and did another shot.
if they reproduce, their children will be the worst quarters players ever
She's doing hand stands on the train as I type. Idk if I'm impressed it embarrassed. Or turned on.
I fell asleep after the worst sex of my life and now I'm snowed in with him. SEND HELP. CALL FEMA. GET ME OUT OF HERE.
"I vaguely remember the Health and Safety Inspector walking into my room this morning while I was passed out naked. That's one way to get it over with quickly."
Drunk texting is the poetry of my life
Remember that girl from my stats. class that I ran into at the bar 2 weeks ago? She literally hasn't been to class once since I told her I sit behind her.
Peeing out the car window on the way home was a nice touch. In December, in Michigan, at 3am. Never seen a girl do that before. Neither had the guy in the minivan next to us.
I woke up with a dread of barbecue sauce in my hair. Drunk munchies makes me a disgusting person.
I gave him head during Pitch Perfect 2, I felt like the Bella's were cheering me on with their back up tunes
WHY HAVE SO MANY THING GONE IN MY BUTT ON THIS TRIP
I want to find him again. His Corona tank top and I were made for each other.
Randomize
