I just wanted to hook up with a white guy to prove that i could go back.
How long does it take to cook a corndog over a candle?
When I like her vacation photos, it really means "Im sleeping with your boyfriend." wonder if she will make the connection.
fat people need to stop using the handicapped bathroom stall so I can have sex in it. it's common logic
I packed spaghetti and rum. But panties? Nah
He stumbled out of the bar bathroom at 3:30 am with his jeans unzipped and his dick hanging out - it was the physical manifestation of "blackout with your cock out"
Go forth Daniel, drink, be merry... And meet some hot Asians for your friends to bang
I asked him why I was having sex with him in the middle of having sex. It was sufficiently awkward.
We can get high as fuck when there are no orders. If not its cool. I just figured Take Your Blunt Buddy To Work Day.
Also... I'm unsure what to do with my face while someone is choking me during sex. Like I feel like its hard to look flattering.
He knows whenever I get drunk I'm going to call him and make fun of his major. Its like a reverse booty call.
Idk how I even got accepted into college because literally the only things my brain ever thinks about are YouTube videos of baby animals and sex.
I would throw a dart into the Olympic ceremony and fuck whoever it hit
i just sexted for my mom while she was driving, i have hit an all time low.
You're like a care bear with a big cock & a sexual prowess that would put the mighty Thor to shame.
Randomize
