Where the hell is he. I called him crying for weed and sex you would think that would signal some urgency.
you cant ever make fun of my bong's stick on moustache again. its the reason the cop let me keep it and my weed.
I just made SCOTCHSICLES. no further info is necessary
Probably twitter. Never underestimate a psycho girl with wifi
Puke, feathers, beads, and solo cups all on my way to class. I'm surprised anyone's alive after this weekend.
I just tried to order ice cream on my bagel. I think I should just call it
So I fucked him. Then I MC Hammer'd to the bathroom, where I did the robot in celebration of my accomplishment. And then I spent 10 mins fixing my toilet. But YOLO.
I have no idea why my husband is mad that I came home at 4 am & all I want to do is eat spaghettios. It's not fucking spaghettios fault.
First date was awkward. I think I just saw someone die.
IM ON THE WEIRD DRUGS AND I JUST SAW THAT TOM HARDY THING NOW I WANT TO HUMP
May I make reservations with your penis for this evening?
I need to align my fucking chakras
You were drinking tequila through a straw.. and kept waving your arms at me and getting this intense stare down as you muttered something about jedi mind tricks.
Unless you want to see me masturbate, I think skype is a no go for now.
She yelled Carpe Diem when she orgasmed. Is it too early to marry her?
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