3 deer just ran past us on the street. At least I get to see some tail tonight
Wedsnesdays are always enlightening. Tonights revealation: One should not smoke from something taller than their person.
Fighting the police is like screwing a fat girl, if I'm drunk enough I'll do it
the only reason you beat me in fntsy this week is bc you wouldnt bail me outa jail in time to set my roster you dick
Update: it wasn't just our driver. This ticket confirms that the Royal Oak PD also found our behavior on the party bus to be "Lewd and Indecent."
On the way home she put on a necklace with her name on it and wrote my name in sharpie across my chest so that in the morning we could avoid the awkward Idk who the fuck you are conversation. Best. Girl. Ever.
That moment when you cant decide between eating spaghetti or a Popsicle for breakfast
The number of tpain songs that actually relate to my life right now is embarrassing.
His dick is as big as my 7" heels... Awkwardness is forgotten.
Like, you've got the smoothest dick in the west. Do you moisturize?
Yes I do
I remember looking at his body and thinking wow you have a body sculpted by Jesus himself. Still not sure if I said that out loud or not
I'll miss you, too. On the bright side, a night away from one another might give me a chance to recup seminal fluids.
So is it weird that I am super excited for my new captain america clit ring... Or is my crotch getting too patriotic
He's the douchy one who wouldn't let me rip his shirt off, right?
he offered to let me fuck his brother , of course im marrying him
Randomize
