Girls should come with a carfax report
So I'm at planned parenthood and there are 5 people here from Friday's party.
How can it be called memorial day weekend....I don't even remember this weekend
I'm dealing with this like an adult, cupcakes and beer.
Ramen still too hot to eat. Eating it anyway. Stoner girls feel no pain
Sometimes I'm sad but then I realize that bagels.
Worst walk of shame man. They had a fire drill at 7am, had to walk out of her all girl dorm wearing my Everday I'm Hustling sweater
Ted is on HBO in 20 minutes...not sure if this or the drunken dance party I had at the bar to a N*SYNC Christmas song 20 minutes ago is the highlight of my week so far.
Well shit, I would've slept with him if I knew he was gonna be in the draft.
you know that australian accents are like the bat signal to my vagina
Turns out that Irishman put my panties under his pillow afterward. Thanks?
Good!!! I'm so proud of you for not snorting alcohol. Big girl steps.
Who am I kidding? With my track record, I'm going to end up sleeping at the strip club with just nipple tassels on.
I wanna suck that fisherman's dick.
I really wanna treat my body good. Because i plan on doing drugs
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