remember when she hit me with her car by accident, well apparently it wasn't an accident.
Soo both my 8 year old sister and fuck buddy are named Sarah..
this can't be going anywhere good
nooope. guess which one i texted last nite to come over so i could "punish her pussy"? =\
She has her iPod in her ears slippers and sweats on and is walking around the house up and down the stairs getting "exercise" she just stopped for a water break
whoever set the energy saving light timer in the lobby bathroom cleraly has no concept how long a work dump takes
we just finished a porn and sex toy shopping spree. this is the fun part of "being serious"
So he might be the smartest man alive. He had the stripper pick him up taco bell on the way to the room for an extra 50 bucks.
We're going to shave my junk and take pictures of it wearing fake mustaches we found at the dollar store. They're uncannily realistic; much better than the cockstaches of my youth.
Fuck I keep finding new battle scars from our fight. Justin told me I stabbed you with a broom handle.. Do you remember ripping my pants off?
you should probably know that there's a naked dude in your window
i wouldn't normally say anything but you seem to not be there
Sangria Sundays can't keep happening. Even my second grade students know I'm hungover. Benji even gave me his oreos its that bad
Next time you have him paint you an outfit so you can do you walk the street naked TAKE A SHOWER BEFORE YOU GET IN THE BED. MY sheets look like like an acid trip
Dicks are not precious.
I know EXACTLY where things went wrong with her...I didn't use Cheetos as a wooing tool.
Remind me to tell you: When threeways go awry, my MLK weekend story.
the only fun thing to do here is drink beer and make mistakes. i feel like im in college again
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