Anyone ask you how much a bj cost yet? That shirt is so whorish
And that's when he stuck his finger up his own ass to prove it would feel good...
i'm at the gym and so are four guys who have seen my tits. i need winter break.
I just had a cup of orange juice and thought it didnt taste right. It didnt have vodka in it.
6 beers, 3 orange crushes, & half a fire ball later & you get my alter ego.
... Cuz there's nothing like having your two male roommates catching you have a good cry in the driveway at 9am on a Wednesday.
I want my birthday to be like the hunger games where all the contenders for my vaj have to fight each other off to win the prize
Can I have the second place winner?
Let's play "Guess What I Just Found In My Vagina?"
Inebriation Olympics: Team Drunk vs Team Stoned. This weekend. It's on.
I had a dream last night that I answered the phone and after I said hello, Shia Lebeouf started yelling "DO IT! JUST DO IT!" That's when I knew, I had officially become meme trash.
Per my usual Thursday, I blacked out and slept on the stairs.
It's a sad night when one of your friend texts you that she's going on a date with someone you know and then invites you to maybe have a drink after
not sure what the chiropractor did but my junk deserves a cape now.
Just bought plan b at 8am. Then the cashier asked if I wanted to donate to the children's miracle network. Fml
LOOK AT HOW SMOOTH THIS BITCH IS
Randomize
