I just accidently deleted 60 gigs of porn from my external hard drive. Thats over 300 pornos! I think im gonna cry.
Im surprised that you are even able to text me right now.
It is obvious to me now why clam chowder & beer aren't a good combo.
All I remember is doing a naked tuck and roll of your bed.
This time, try to not get fingered in the middle of the living room.
I DIDNT GET FINGERED
I was rubbed
You didn't even properly utilize my pigtails.
Someday, but I will be heavily drugged and there will be no dolphins.
don't mind me. just hanging out in this cool air conditioned Babies R Us until the liquor store next door opens.
We let 3 boys take us home and then we woke up in the middle of the night, stole all the coozies out of the house, a loaf of bread, a case of water, a pair of shorts, called a cab, and went home.
well, at the moment I'm sleeping in someone's closet in a buzzlightyear snuggie, so I can't judge,
she basically told me that her vine videos last longer that I do
You are the only person I know who has a fierce hatred for a five year old. Not even five year olds in general, yours is very specific
Nothing like a near-death experience to start off your Thanksgiving...
fuck sobriety. I want to wake up tomorrow in a park or some shit.
I miss you.
Yeah, I don't want to have sex.
so this hot guy who looks like brad pitt circa troy era in my physics lab is staring at me right now and it's taking all the willpower I have not to procreate with him right now.
Randomize
