My gift to the freshman: I made an illegal stop, rolled out and dropped to my hands and knees and puked in front of the south campus dorms and about 20 families. Welcome to OSU
today is my dealer's birthday. i dont know whether to give him the day off or call him saying happy birthday ill take a quarter please
Playing the biology drinking game in my 8am. Drink everytime he says species or organism. I love st. Patricks day
I thought i'd save money with No Heat November but the amount of whiskey i have to buy to stay warm is probably adding up to more than a heat bill.
If I come back covered in mud topless and banging on your door, please have a warm towel ready for me
So what do normal people wear to parties? Normal meaning not you.
You wear an inflatable farm animal to TWO THEMED PARTIES and I never get to hear the end of it...
Hate sex is good. Drunk sex is better. Combine those two however and you get the best experience of your LIFE.
She was a little hefty, so I turned on the strobe light in our room. Everything looks better with a strobe light.
NoShamevember. You game?
All my interactions with my brother are drug deals at this point
I am going to be so excited tomorrow when I find this box of crayons in my purse
In my defense, who let the drunk girl run around with a sack of broken glass unsupervise?
I woke up with a hangover and a man bun. Reached over to drink water and accidentally chugged raspberry vodka. So there's that.
You told me I got kicked out of the bar for lipping off to the bouncers... what shocked me the most was that I made it to the bar
did he think i wouldnt notice the naked girl in the backseat
Randomize
