I may just buy something cuz i have 6 weddings in the next year and a half.
Holy shittt I don't even have a bf
the lady in the checkout infront of me had a case of beer, two 40 oz, and activia...really??i dont' think irregularity is her problem
you went up to their shower, tripped in it, accidentally turned it on and then claimed that you like to "test everyone's showers"
your boyfriend is drunk and yelling to the bar that he loves his cats
You can't keep basing your relationship off of the fact that you both love ramen noodles
Now if u will excuse me I have to go prep my vagina for this amazing sex filled weekend I'm about to encounter
If I drank a glass of water for every drink I had I'd die of water intoxication like some tweaked out looser at a rave
I'm still a bit day drunk and decided to go for a run. You may get a snapchat of me vomiting soon
must go to store soon wiping with panty liner ugh
She showed me her tits outside Taco Bell....After she flashed the dude working there in an effort to get in.
Vodka, rum, moonshine, I don't care, just bring like 5gallons.
I know it's my dream I got hurt enough to leave work but not hurt enough to stop drinking
The magnum condom fits. I feel like a manly version of cinderella
I need mimosas to revive my soul
But seriously like how many girls do you know that will do that on the first date?
One?
ONE! And it was was glorious!
Randomize
