The dr is doing well, he randomly asked if I was bi
Lots of explosions. Minor nudity. Full penetration and lots of tuxedos.
You said your dick dragged you up the stairs
you asked "if this appropriate to take the the bathroom?" while holding up a bottle of vodka when you went to pee.
Sometimes he has weird facial hair...Basically he has a penis... that's what he's got going for him.
do you think its obvious that we spent all afternoon playing naked body oil twister?
Some chick asked if she could eat me because I'm dressed as a taco. I introduced her to RJ. Best Wingman.
I think I may have just taught my whole hall how to give a good blow job. So this is college.
I got drunk by myself and ended up listening to Beethoven in the dark.
my throat is bruised, my back is scarred, my vagina feels like it's going to fall off.. you're like godzilla. you destroy everything.
I don't know. Sometimes you can be a wild card with your emotions. Mostly the emotion known as anger.
Really, who hasn't had sex on your bed?
ME.
I got very very very high last night and bought a cotton candy machine on eBay
He motorboated me, gave me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
Oh man I missed being single! Two different guys just sent me dick pics during my kid’s little league game.
Randomize
