You have problems? I'm 20 years old and i'm balding
It was one time. Now I have to constantly remind her my name is Jessica not Jizzica.
Don't be a smartass. I'm trying to fuck a guy who's sober. It's more difficult than you think.
it's sunday funday. and also, who can outslut the other day.
hey did i steal that bike before or after the ball dropped, casue i might have broken my resolution already
they're both coked to the gills having a shouting match about the powers and abilities of godzilla. and using the wikipedia entry on the topic to support their respective arguments.
In order of importance: Where am I? Where's my car? Where are my clothes? Who is this chick in the room?
Anne's couch, the bar, your car, Anne.
Don't forget ur talking to the master juggler. Remember that time I slept with 3 guys and made them all pay for plan b? Paid the rent didn't I?
Soggy bong water carpet is the worst kind of carpet.
I caught a glimpse of his penis. I can only imagine what your mom's vagina goes through because of that penis
Your normalization of crazy is frightening.
NO I WILL NOT SET YOU UP WITH MY TWIN WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH YOU?!? JUST BECAUSE I WONT BLOW YOU DOESNT MEAN YOU CAN STALK HER AS A BACKUP PLAN YOU SPANISH BASTARD
It got weird I got a phone call while looking at porn and the video started playing while on the phone full on porn audio.
you woke up this morning in a laundry basket, only wearing rainboots.
Just slather his penis with BBQ sauce
Randomize
