he believed the zit on my nose was a piercing...until he tried to bite it. needless to say he didnt ask for my number
i got us presents. or arrested. we shall see!
Well yesterday i made out with the entire football team and rifht at this very moment our waiter looks like a ken doll. Straight up. And he gave me wine so ill probly make out with him
college has opened so many doors for you
But then he started to talk about his wedding he wants and I quote " and yes parts will be choreographed"
i should not be allowed to orgasm that much in one day.
we are watching a video on ethics because somebody wrote "butt sex" on the attendance sign in sheet
I was pissed last night bc this girl didn't want to have sex but offered to reimburse me for the condoms. That just made me upset
I know it I should, but it's kinda nice. It's smells like unbridled enthusiasm and copious amounts of melt your face off sex.
Long story short he broke into a preschool and threw all their cones into a tree.
We joked about how funny it would be if he got pulled over with 300 breakfast burritos in hus car. We walk outside of the school just as the police lights turn on and pull him over
When you woke up the first word out of your mouth was "whoa"
I was feeling the aftermath of his penis
Thanks for being my pregnancy scare Sherpa...
He sent me a dick pic from work, but I could see all the pizzas in the background. Now I'm just hungry.
Just slather his penis with BBQ sauce
Questions: How did Rachel get home? Why did I find both her ID's in my shoes? And does anyone know if she's alive?
Randomize
