remember when mike pissed in his pants and then put a double cheeburger in the pocketsss of said wet pants for "safe keeping"? yea drunker then that.
There aren't nearly as many guys masturbating on chatroulette as i was led to believe...i feel cheated
Just grabbed my laptop and a beer to take a shit. Mom gave me a look of disgust. I miss college.
i may have reached my "but im high so it's cool" quota for the month.
That's the last time I do shots near a campfire.
Dude, she sent me a nude of her posing in the mirror and her dad was in the reflection
No no don't get confused. We do chemistry homework on Thursdays. We screw on Fridays. Other than that, Words With Friends is our only communication five days a week. We are NOT dating.
I didnt realize how badly my legs were scratched up from power-fucking him in the bushes until kate dumped a bottle of vodka on me. that shit burnedddd
At some point you realize they're vacuuming and you still have to sober up. Please find me a boyfriend thanks .
I've decided he is effectively a mouth, hands and cock held together by bad ideas and compliments, and I'm OK with that.
He could smell the liquor on my breath. Fuck. I thought he would smell French toast.
I just got breakfast in bed and he went down on me. And you though he was a bad idea. Shame
I'm surprised I don't have a permanent face imprint between my boobs.
Remember, today is also the anniversary of Harambe's death. D**** out.
dude, next time you say lets go on an adventure, tell me if there are going to be psychotrophics involved before hand.
Randomize
