I'm in a room alone pouting because I got the wrong nachos at taco bell.
If that was your dad, he is hot
dude we were spooning naked in bed with her ass in my crotch. she sharted in her sleep all over my dick.
If the pens lose tonight I'm gonna drive to Detroit and burn 8 mile to the ground.
Actually I may do that regardless. Probably get my own holiday.
I just put lube in Matt's bellybutton. He looks unhappy.
Is it bad that I voted for Scott Brown because I want to fuck him?
Nah. I did too.
Just met a girl...She is complaining why on facebook you can't have more then one "open relationship"
I dont know how i feel about her from a moral standpoint...
I really hope that wasn't actually his first time. Because if my first time was anything like that I would NEVER have sex again.
He just referred to himself as a sharp shooter. I had sex with that.
Oh man. Realized I was high when I realized how long I'd been watching Roseanne
Drinking vodka straight out of a beer bottle because I don't want to be judged. Not my best idea and not my worst.
I have effectively turned laundry day into a drinking game.
Listening to The Little Mermaid soundtrack should cure my drunkeness right?
She said to call her, so I called her. Her boyfriend answered and traced the fucking call. I could litterally hear him yell because it turns out he lives in 4d
Don't you live in 4c?
I woke up in nothing but my socks and my hat a cigarette in my mouth and a beer in my hand..........GREAT NEW YEARS
Randomize
