im sitting at a bagel shop wearing a princess crown hungover and have a sweater that is not mine.
So i guess i slapped the girl sitting next to me leg and said "You know what they say, got fat legs...you gotta fat BOX"
There's a person in my phone named motor boat. I love making new friends.
Sign she's a keeper: "I would rather be late to brunch than waste a perfectly good boner."
if I open my eyes, my head will explode. that hungover.
remember how i yelled at you for inviting that coke dealer to the party?! i found the $100 bill they were snorting with in the couch.
..new slutty dresses or booze? i won't even waste time with the i told you so.
I hope one day I make out with someone in a taco truck :(
I'm glad I inspire you to reach for the stars
Or a taco
One last thing: he lists glow sticks and tacos as things he can't live without. How would we not be friends??
I found a guy who will take me to the Olive Garden and he is CONVENTIONALLY ATTRACTIVE.
Hell no. Last time I used a Slip N Slide I ended up with bruised ribs, a broken fence and the hatred of a half naked girl with a sprained wrist.
You told me I got kicked out of the bar for lipping off to the bouncers... what shocked me the most was that I made it to the bar
I didn't even get crazy off of the coke so everything's fine. Also, I think I might have killed my aunt's dog..
"fuck it, let's do moonshine" shouldn't be in ANYONE'S vocabulary.
That song just makes me wanna take off my top and shake my titties all around the club.
when some dude came up to you and said he didn't like your shirt you just looked at him and firmly asked if he really thought that you gave a fuck.
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