your head's too prwtty to be stuck in the books
the biggest problem in our relationship is that im team edward and my boyfriend is team jacob
how do i tell her that i need alcohol to fuck her but at the same time i cant get a hard on with alcohol.
There is still throw up in my sink from before break. God I missed this place
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Mass Text: Free blowjob to first person to bring me a nacho cheese chalupa.
I've got my laundry in the car, tonights 1 night stand pre-req is an in suite washer and dryer. Let's do this!
Speaking is such a hard concept right now
The used rubbers I threw behind her bed all semester must have landed on the baseboard heater. They went up in smoke when she turned on the heat last night.
I believe its time to stop celebrating Thanksgiving. I've been drunk for over a week. If my liver doesn't give out, and I'm not pregnant I will truly have something to be thankful for.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I should probably drink beer instead of rum today so I don't end up naked in my living room while I still have guest.
I was riding him and in the middle he literally said "fuck yeah, Amy Winehouse"
reason #1 why i should never live alone: i haven't put pants on since she left 26 hours ago. and ive made spaghetti 3 times.
He asked me for a pic so I sent him a pic of my boyfriends dick.
yeah, i'm probably gonna die. still gonna be totally worth it tho
Hey, I'm sleeping in your car...lol just knock on the window in the morning
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