she's into porn, im staying here tonight
Everything that you guys said happened came back to me. like a tidal wave of regret.
i'm not entirely sure that 'not getting kicked out of the bar until it got dark' really classifies as 'doing better'
I tried to explain to the cop how we all have skeletons in our closets but he just wouldn't listen.
The nursing school interview showed me a picture of my passed out during your party. They asked if this was a frquent thing. I told them you drugged me.
You chucked an empty vodka bottle against the wall and yelled "Everyone calm the fuck down, it's just the cops." After 10 seconds of silence I looked over and saw you pissing their fountain.
My pants are like a grocery bag containing ONLY jelly beans right now.
She said she forgot something.. and when she came out she was carrying a garden gnome, and a bottle of vodka. she was too hot to question it.
All my money is going towards making my vagina hairless
Worth it.
I'm going to be an 8 year old girl down there foreverrrr #fountainofyouth
i ended up making out with my new neighbor in a stranger's car that we found unlocked on a driveway somewhere. apparently drunk self never say "no" to adventure.
I once took a shot of lighter fluid.. That's not a secret just a fucked up story
Sorry my friend with benefits tried to run you over with his car
You can't go around chasing people and screaming JUST LET ME LOVE YOU. We're in a public place.
There is a dude with blue hair and a samurai sword and another dude dressed as Dead Pool. I daresay standard social conventions are not applicable in this environment.
Well. Another one of my exes came out of the closet.
I texted her that I burned my tongue drinking coffee so it hurt to talk or kiss... How many points do I get for doing her without talking or making out first?
Randomize
