I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
I am about to get in a knife fight over a corn dog.
her nose should be used as a dorsal fin
its 9am. i just got home. spent 6 hours blowing him in a closet last night
People are yelling about how much they want you here.
I'm going to change, vomit up my mexican food to save the trouble later, and then come meet you. Thrilled.
Just got a groupon for a segway rental: fireworks segway battle at my house. What say you?
I DO NOT KNOW WHO SHE IS, WE HAVE NO MORE FRUIT, SHE CAN'T STAY HERE.
He asked her to marry him and she said yes. There is NO WAY she knows about his penchant for wearing lingerie.
You can't just leave with hair like that
Dude just bought the table 3 bottles of champaign and broke one on the floor as his "signature" and he makes me want this recession hit harder
I want to be a supportive friend to her, but I also want to sleep with her ex now that he's single.
i think she learned that just cuz half shots were easier, doesnt mean she can have triple as many.
I need my comforter. Pls bring it to me and drape me in it like an animal pelt. Ps I'm naked.
i ordered what the bartender said was called a pink cock, and kept saying it tastes like a disney princess. thats how my 21st bday went
Mimosas make me so tired. I just ordered a huge thing of pasta and gonna eat it in my underwear like a bad bitch
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