Okay, I have a threesome with foreigners and suddenly I'm a man-whore
So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
im so drunk with asians
where?
always
the hot woman interviewing me is reading jokes off the back of laffy taffy.... I'm getting laid and possibly a job
I think I'd do Clint Eastwood.
...kinda gettin a major gay vibe from you right now.
That was a text you sent me last night.
I am trying to think of a way to make alcohol cupcakes
It was a cry at the bar alone type of night, served with a side of passing out facedown in my nachos.
somehow a sneeze triggered me puking over everyone in the car
our next stoner-chievment: cream of shroom soup. Get over here, this is happening!
Sailor Jerry came over for the evening. It was a magical evening. I didn't even get puke in the house.
We smoked a blunt in a stall where a drag queen was fucking a bartender in the ass. So theres gonna be a second date :)
I'm sure there are thousands getting dick today in the name of independence
So I'm already mostly naked in a kind of bed but obviously too lazy to take my boots off. It's like January 1st is already here
Man I was just the closest I've ever been to crapping my pants.
She keeps comparing me to her favorite dildo and I don’t know if I’m flattered or creeped out
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