If you get a breast reduction, you have to let me see them before hand at least once. It's a rule.
Wish i knew that 10 minutes ago when i told him to dance with my blackberry while i got another drink
apparently i ate an entire bag of goldfish, kissed some guy with a girlfriend who now wants to kill me, made my sister sleep in my bed with me while i wore no pants, and told my whole family i am pregnant with jonny's devil baby...never drinking again
remember earlier when I said I was over sex with random boys? take it back take it back take it back
He yelled IN THE FACE!! while cumming on my face.
Would it help you get over me if I told you that I had unprotected sex last night?
You couldn't hold yourhead up but you managed to unzip my zipper. That's skill..
Well, she opened the door to puke outside the car, but she threw it open so hard it popped back and hit her in the face.
At my wifes high school reunion. Found out her nickname was 'Back Door Brooke'. EVERYONE is calling her that.
Myy bathroom floor makes me think I'm on Mars. Also. Did you realize that yesterday we perfected thee mind high-five??
She was giving me head while we were in my tree house, my mom then came out to let the dog out so she stopped so I would stop groaning, was it good? You tell me
there was so much lube in my brother's closet...
Well I'm sorry I assumed you were a human and that humans have the capability to forget sometimes.
I just set my mike's hard down and didn't want it to spill, so I held my finger up and told it to shoosh. I'm drunk.
This is the fourth guy that I've broken in to gay sex. How the hell do they find me?
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