strike ten. I need to stop drinkng
he came up my nose again i swear he does this just to piss me off
For a second, I wondered if I could smoke pizza.
hey did i steal that bike before or after the ball dropped, casue i might have broken my resolution already
Guys, I'm sleeping in the BOYNTON LAUNDRY ROOM. if you can, come let me out in the morning as I have no keys. I might be in the study room possibly. DON'T FORGET. I will be trapped
i just found this napkin with your number on it in my jacket pocket. it reads amy, drawing of a wine bottle and a house
I used his computer to order the pizza and the only thing he had in his search bar was 'text NASA'
I like to think I'd be good at dodging genitalia.
Shit. I'm running the whole hotel right now. The front desk girl had to run home because she left her vibrator on the counter and her brother, mom, and grandmother surprised her and are showing up to her place before she gets off work. This will end badly no matter what.
Someone had written "Boxmonsterette" on the bathroom wall and I just knew you'd been here.
I will rip it off your body in ways are socially offensive but you still kind of like.
Because my vagina is Ellis Island. All foreign penises must be presented for inspection and competency. God bless America.
At one point I was convinced he was a snake and was going to eat me And I just accepted it
Eventually I will start sleeping with people who actually want to hangout with me the next day... But not today
I kept yelling "BY ORDER OF THE PEAKY FUCKING BLINDERS" in a terrible brummie accent at everyone I saw wearing a flatcap.
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